Icky Fish
by BigB27
Summary: Harley explains to Ivy why she hates fish so much on a boring winter night. Oneshot.


Icky Fish

It was a cold winter night. Harley was staying with Ivy due to some argument with the Joker. Harley and Ivy were sitting on the couch. Harley was flicking through channels with a bored look on her face. Ivy was reading her monthly gardening magazine. After doing two loops Harley sighed and put the remote down. "One thousand freaking channels and its all crap." Harley said Dissatisfied. "What did you expect Harls? TV's been going downhill since 2007. Another reason I hate people. Just shows how greedy and selfish they are." Ivy replied. "Ah come on Red, it's not all bad." Harley reasoned. "The Kardashians, Jersey Shore, Toddlers and Tiaras. Need I say more?" Ivy explained "There are plenty of good shows on. They're just not on a lot." Harley responded. "Whatever." Ivy said putting down her magazine. An advert for Deadliest Catch appeared on the TV. "Look Harley, a show about fishing; your favourite." Ivy said mockingly. "Ugh fish." Harley said making a vomit sound. "Why do you hate fish so much anyway?" Ivy asked. "Well, it's a bit of a funny story." Harley explained. "Well you are a Jester. Let's hear this funny story." Ivy said eagerly. "Okay, it happened when I was twelve years old."

Harley was fast asleep in her bed. Then like a gust of wind Harley's mother Sharon come bursting in. "Harley wake up! We're late for Synagogue!" Sharon shouted. "But Mom it's Saturday! I wanna stay in bed!" Harley said grumpily. "Harley stop screwing about! I'm gonna wake up Barry so if you want the bathroom first I suggest you get up now!" Sharon rushed out the room. Harley grunted annoyed. Harley put on black tights, a grey skirt, a blue blouse and a navy sweater. She put her blonde hair in pigtails. On her feet was a pair of black flats. Harley went downstairs and saw Barry on the couch playing his gameboy. Barry was wearing creased grey trousers, worn out black trainers and a scruffy white shirt untucked. His dark hair was messy. "Erm Barry, you know you're not supposed to use electricity right?" Harley asked him. "Ah shut up Harley! You know I don't believe this stuff." Barry snapped. "I don't think Mom would be too pleased to hear you say that." Harley replied. "Well Moms upstairs right now!" Barry replied in a childish tone. "Why does Mom always take so long in the morning?" Harley asked rhetorically. "And you wondered why I'm on my gameboy." Barry said with a cheeky grin. Harley sighed.

After what seemed like an hour, Sharon came downstairs, she was wearing a purple dress and a brown cardigan. Her brown bob was neatly brushed. On her feet were short black heels. "Kids let's go. Barry you don't have your coat on!" Sharon snapped. "I don't need a coat Mom!" Barry replied. "Barry put your coat on or I'll take away your gameboy! Now come on!" Sharon said as she rushed out the door. Barry put on a thin grey coat as he followed his mother out the door. Harley was right behind Barry. After walking for about five minutes, Barry let out an agitated grunt. "How come Dad doesn't have to go to Synagogue but we do?" Barry asked. "There are two reasons Barry. One, your father isn't Jewish. Two, he works on Weekends because of that mysterious new job." Sharon replied. Harley's stomach was rumbling. She was struggling to keep up with the other two. "Harley are you okay?" Sharon asked. "I'm really hungry." Harley said. "Well maybe you should've eaten something before we left." Sharon responded. "It was too early and I wasn't hungry then." "Well you can eat at the Kiddush. We're already half way there and we don't have time to stop for anything." "But Mom I didn't have dinner last night." Harley groaned. "Ah stop whining Harley! Surely you can wait an hour or two." Barry snapped. Harley glared at Barry. "Kids stop bickering! We're almost there!" Sharon snapped.

They finally arrived at the Synagogue. As they walked into the corridor Sharon stopped a second. "Okay so I take it you two will be attending the children's service?" Sharon asked. "Yep, see you two dorks later!" Barry said rushing upstairs to the kids' service. "What about you Harley?" Sharon asked. "Let's see, sit in a calm room listening to the Torah or sit in a noisy room filled with manic children running around while a stressed adult tries to control them." Harley explained. "Okay Harley, but no funny business. You sit still and you be quiet. The Rabbi's already on my back because of Barry." Sharon said sternly. "Mom, when have I ever made a scene?"Harley asked. Sharon made the I'm watching you gesture. The two girls walked down the corridor and entered the main hall. They sat right in the centre of the rows. After five minutes Harley became extremely bored. She kept checking her watch, but time seemed to stand still. Harley opened the prayer book to this week's segment. She started reading the English part. After reading a page and a half, she'd yawned and put the book down. Harley sighed. Harley then decided she'd try and get some sleep. Harley tried resting her head on her palm. After several minutes her arm began to ache. Harley then tried resting her head on her mother's shoulder. After several minutes her neck began to ache. Harley raised her head from her mother's shoulder and checked her watch. Only fifteen minutes had passed since they arrived. Harley grunted. Sharon then gave Harley a glare. All she could think about was how tired and hungry she was. After several more minutes Harley's stomach growled loudly. Sharon then nudged Harley. "Stop that Harleen." She whispered. "It's my stomach, I can't help it." Harley whispered back. Harley was staring at the men sitting opposite when she noticed a man get up for the toilet. Harley then got an idea. "Mom I'm going to the bathroom." She whispered to Sharon. "Fine, but don't be too long. No horse play." She said sternly but quietly. Harley almost sprinted out the room.

Harley went outside to the courtyard. She couldn't stand another minute in that hot crowded room. The cool breeze felt great on her skin. Harley started taking deep breaths to calm herself. "Come on Harleen, you can do this." She said to herself. Harley then noticed a boy standing next to her. He was the same age as Harley but slightly shorter than her. He had dark short curly hair, and a pale complexion. He was wearing a grey patterned cardigan with a blue shirt underneath and a black tie. He was wearing black trousers and black dress shoes. "Oh my gosh Dylan! I didn't know you were Jewish!" Harley said excitingly. Dylan and Harley were in the same History class at school. Harley had a huge crush on Dylan. "Yeah, my Moms Jewish, she makes me come to Synagogue every week." Dylan explained. "Yeah same! Every Saturday she wakes me up super early. Then she leaves me and my brother waiting an hour. My brother then goes off to the kid's service. I've joined him in the past, but it's not much better than the regular service." Harley explained. "Yeah I stay away from that room. I went once, never again." Dylan replied. "But what do you do? The regular service is extremely boring but the kid's service is crazy out of control." Harley asked. "Well I usually just chill here. I tell my mom I'm at the kid's service then I return the same time as the other kids." Dylan explained. "My mom thinks I'm in the bathroom right now. I couldn't take another second of sitting in that stuffy room. I think I'll just stay here and tell her I went to the kid's service, if that's ok with you?" Harley asked. "Sure it's fine. It's nice to have company for once. Not many people come out here." Dylan replied. "But I gotta ask do you have any food? I'm starving right now." Harley asked. "Well I don't have any actual food, but I've got a can of monster and some caffeine pills." Dylan said retrieving said items from his pockets. "Do these really fill you up?" Harley asked confused. "Sure they do. I take these all the time." Dylan replied. "Thanks Dylan, I really appreciate this." Harley said as she put several pills in her month. She then drank the whole can of monster.

Harley chatted with Dylan until it was time for them to return to the regular service. As Harley returned her mother gave her a glare. "Where the heck have you been? I thought you were only going to the bathroom?" Sharon pressed. "I decided to go to the kids' service when I was done." Harley explained. "Fine, just tell me next time." Sharon said sternly. The final part of the sermon was about to begin. A man walked around holding the Torah several people touched their prayer book on the scroll then kissed the book. As he returned to the altar, the Rabbi sang a final prayer. Harley's stomach roared loudly. Harley groaned. "And now time for the Kiddush."The Rabbi said leading everyone into a separate room. There was a strong smell of fish as they entered the room. There were several tables spread around the room, they all had plates with fish, crisps, biscuits, croissants, and fruit juice. Harley noticed Barry standing at one of the other tables. Harley was anxiously staring at the food waiting for the Rabbi to say grace. The Rabbi said the prayer then looked up from the floor. "You may now eat." He said to the crowd. Harley snatched the nearest plate to her. It was filled of cold herring and, fish balls, and several other types of fish. Harley scoffed it down like a starved dog. "Does your sister always eat like that?" A boy said to Barry. "Yep all the time." Barry replied to his friend. "Wow she really is weird." Barry's friend said. Harley then got a stomach ache. Her stomach's howls filled the room. "I don't feel so good." Harley said feeling nauseas. Harley then felt like she was going to vomit. She turned around and tried to run for the toilets. But before she could get there, she bumped into the Rabbi and upchucked.

Ivy erupted into a fit of laughter. "Ah come on it's not that funny!" Harley snapped. "It's hilarious. Not only did you throw up in front of the whole temple, but you also throw up on the Rabbi and some guy you were crushing on!" Ivy began laughing again. "I knew you'd make fun of me if I told you." Harley pouted. "Ah come on Harls we're friends. I'm laughing with you not at you." Ivy said apologetically. "I'd never seen my Mom so angry before. Since that day I can't have fish, energy drinks or caffeine pills." Harley explained. "It's a good thing. Energy drinks are really not good for you, nor are caffeine pills." Ivy explained. "Yeah, but fish is brain food. Also keeping kosher became near impossible for me." Harley replied. "So how did the Rabbi respond the next Saturday?" Ivy asked. "He didn't. After that my Mom stopped forcing me to go. I'd already had my Bat Mitzvah so it was sort of my choice. Barry still had to go until her was thirteen though." Harley said. "Wait, you keep Kosher?" Ivy said confused. "I used to as a kid. My Mom made us, although my dad always used to take me and Barry for non kosher food. After the fish incident, my Mom stopped forcing me to keep kosher." Harley answered. "Well that sucks." Ivy said with sympathy. After staring at the ceiling for a minute Harley turned the TV back on. "Hey look Friendzone!" Harley shrieked. "Seriously Harley? This show is awful." Ivy snorted. "Ah come on Red, it's about people finding true love." Harley replied. "No, it's about people crushing on their best friends then getting rejected." Ivy quipped. "That only happens some of the time. They become an item sometimes." Harley said. "Whatever." Ivy sighed as she picked up her magazine.

End-


End file.
